Paperboard Jesus Can't Save The Planet

Nearly Every Replacement for Plastic ... Is Worse for the Enviroment!

In the 1962 Goldcoast Singers Classic, “Plastic Jesus,” Ed Rush and George Cromarty sing, ‘I don't care if it rains or freezes, Long as I got my plastic Jesus, Riding on the dashboard of my car.’

The more famous Eddie Marrs version recorded in 1965 (the one sung by Paul Newman in ‘Cool Hand Luke’) changed the lyrics slightly.

"Well, I don't care if it rains or freezes, long as I got my plastic Jesus, sittin' on the dashboard of my car.

Comes in colors, pink and pleasant, glows in the dark cause it's irridescent
Take it with you when you travel far.”

Both versions emerged at the dawn of the plastic revolution when it was new (and would one day become more popular than even the Beatles).

From The Graduate.

Mr. McGuire:
I want to say one word to you. Just one word.

Benjamin:
Yes, sir.

Mr. McGuire:
Are you listening?

Benjamin:
Yes, I am.

Mr. McGuire:
Plastics.

Benjamin:
Exactly how do you mean?

Mr. McGuire:
There's a great future in plastics. Think about it. Will you think about it?

Plastic is everywhere today despite movements declaring it a vile and poisonous sin against the Earth Mother. They want it gone, but recently published research into the environmental impact (emissions) of the materials with which we’d replace the plastic isn’t helping their cause.

What do I mean?

A portable Savior made of plastic rather than paperboard will not only last longer (‘til the second coming, depending on when that is and who you ask), but it is probably better for the planet (if you think lowering a trace gas has anything to do with that -and these researchers do).

Plastic Jesus!

Recycled Truth

For years, anti-plastic advocates have tried to convince us that these products are detrimental to the biosphere, but that never made much sense to me (like most of what passes for modern environmentalism). I like the idea of recycling, for example (reusing and repurposing), but how much energy is wasted on the water to wash a can or bottle so more energy and money can be expended transporting it, sifting, sorting (washing it some more), and then breaking it down to be reprocessed, reconstituted, and refabricated? Even Greenpeace has admitted it is not working out as they’d hoped.

So, when you talk about getting rid of plastics, I’m not sure everyone has considered what that entails. You have to replace it with something, and the options are limited. This question drove researchers to take a long, hard look at those replacements in the context of the desire to reduce so-called Greenhouse Gas Emissions.

The New Research

Three chemical engineers, Fanran Meng, Miguel Brandão, and Jonathan M. Cullen (from the University of Sheffield UK, the Royal Institute of Technology Sweden, and the University of Cambridge UK, respectively), did the heavy lifting.

[C]alls to use less plastic products and move toward nonplastic alternatives are common. However, these calls often overlook the environmental impacts of alternative materials. This article examines the greenhouse gas (GHG) emission impact of plastic products versus their alternatives.

The researchers examined the environmental impacts of alternatives to plastic. My “washing the recyclable example” on a larger, more scientific scale.

What they discovered will not please the Climate Cult’s Purge Plastic Pharisees.